I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
do herpes really smell.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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