Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
