I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
operation have a gay friend backfired
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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