i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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