The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
