I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
