nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
