So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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