He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm passing your future prison.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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