now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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