I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize