wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize