It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
