No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
