you would pick up someone in the library
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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