I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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