That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
