I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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