you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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