I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
