Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
