i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
