I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
