I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize