I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
