weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
