you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
