from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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