This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
