WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
