Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we're so committed to being not committed
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize