A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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