thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
