my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
