where does the pee come out of this thing
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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