I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
