Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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