You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
