Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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