Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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