how can u be prego again
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
