At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
