I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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