Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
