I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
