take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize