I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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