she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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