Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
