my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think i got beer on your cat.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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