The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
