Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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