I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
