i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize