Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
