This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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