I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
