with your own penis?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
