your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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