I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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