did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
