if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
